Pants 0. Shit 1.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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