The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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