they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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