Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
