I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
