she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
