i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
