these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
