he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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