Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
a search helicopter?!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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