Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
