their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
