what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think people are normalizing furries
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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