My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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