Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My hand turned me down
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
