you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
