I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I am puke
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
