I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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