My sheets look like a crime scene.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
