wat bout pragnant strippers??
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
