Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
