So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
