Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
