It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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