I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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