And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
