Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
