I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
