just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
