i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
