i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
