He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize