started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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