the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
