I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
