Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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