is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
