I have demons in me.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
