You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
NoShamevember. You game?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
