But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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