That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
