Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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