16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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