So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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