Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
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