she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
