That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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