Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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