so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she told me i tasted like america
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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