Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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