I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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